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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

when taking pics from above stops working....

Ok... so this might be long. I will preface this by saying: I'm not politically correct, I'm outspoken, I'm honest and I'm fat.

I know that everyone has a blog, and more than half are people kvetching about their weight. I'm adding to the madness because I have things to say and, you never know, someone might be able to relate to me. I'm 32, live in the city, and had gastric bypass 6 years ago. Yep, you heard it right, I figured I'd just put that out there now so you wouldn't be surprised. I'll detail it more later. But just know, I'm fat again. I gained it all back. Plus. Yeah.

I used to take self pics (a la facebook and myspace profile pics) with my arm extended as long as I could, and as high as I could. It makes your chins vanish. Trust me. I have a bazillion pics of me, birdseye view, head slightly tilted looking up. Stretch the neck. There you go. Chins be gone! Do you know how hard it is to try to get a 6'3" or taller person to take pics for us when we're doing family pics?

Well, I noticed a few months ago that my nifty little trick wasn't working anymore. Wha???? Why are there still chins? Actually, when I would try to do the head tilt and neck stretch, my face looked fatter. WTF?!?!?! This was my favorite technique. What does this mean? Hmmmm. Maybe I'm not extending the neck enough, maybe my arm got shorter? Ok... let's try this again. Nope, still looks fat. Weird. Oh well, maybe it's the camera setting. I'll figure it out later.

Meanwhile, why does Troy (the bf/fiance) keep putting my scrubs in the dryer and shrinking them? Dammit.. I told him to line dry them only. I guess I'll go and get more scrubs but in the next bigger size so that when he shrinks them it won't be so tight. I'm so smart! Wth??? Damn these cheap companies are making their clothes smaller to save on fabric and screwing with the sizing. The larger scrubs fit perfectly. So now Troy still can't dry them in the dryer.

Now I know by this point, you all are like, this chick is a little slow. I'm not, I was just in complete and utter denial. See, when I look in the mirror I see a hot chick. Not Hooters girl hot (if that's your definition of hot), but just average size, average looks. Ok so hot= average. Whatever. I just had no idea that I had gained all my weight back. Plus. I think I had an inkling, but I just ignored it.

Troy and I are both heavy. So is our daughter, not like us but big enough. My mom isn't. Lucky her. So we're just like a big happy family. BIG. There were a chain of events that occurred that made Troy realize he'd gotten bigger too. He didn't have gastric bypass, btw. So he said, I'm going to lose some weight, my ass is getting too big. I'm happy for him for noticing that he'd gained weight. So, as encouragement, said that I would cut out a few bad things from my diet. See, still in denial. Well Troy went full hog and stopped drinking soda (his worst thing) and stopped eating ice cream. I stopped getting fries with my mcdonald's. A couple days later, as I rested from walking up a flight of steps, I realized that I too, had gotten crazy fat. Fine. I said it. I told Troy so I couldn't back out. And so began my journey to be able to takes pics from above to hide the chins again.... just until there's only one chin.

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